Minute44 - Dan Schonhaar

Right… I needed to go to the bank and get some lunch so I drive into town where there is a major parking shortage. But luckily I know a little car park just behind my bank… now OK I shouldn’t really park there cos it’s for the housing project thing but it is NEVER full and I’m only ever there 5 minutes. So I parked there. Went to the bank, got some subway and returned to find this old bloke pulled up behind me.

Of course he promptly gets out and the following ensues:

Him: You shouldn’t park here you know..

Me: Yeah, I know mate, sorry. It was empty and I was only 5 minutes.

Him: That’s not the point, this is out of your way to park here!

Me: No it’s not. It’s pretty convenient actually seeing as my bank is just there *points*

Him: It’s pointless talking to you people! You shouldn’t park here and thats it!!

Me (annoyed): Oh, shut up moaning you miserable old bastard. I’m not hurting anyone. There’s plenty of spaces. You’re clearly moaning for the sake of moaning!

He then got all flustered ad tried to get back in his car but ended up pressing the horn for ages… I laughed and buggered off. I just don’t get bitter old people, I guess it could be that they’ve lived for that long that they just don’t give a shit any more so bitch about everything… But it’s irritating. There was at least 4 empty parking spaces there and the total time I was there couldn’t have been longer than 10 minutes. Anyone would think that I parked a Hummer there, diagonally, for three days and reversed over his dog on the way out while calling his sister a whore.

But anyway, enough of that. Today is Kerri and Nicole’s (my sisters) birthday so I’ve gotta go and pick up their present from ikea after work. Then go home, get their cards and take it all to my mum’s. She’s taking them for a haircut and style at Sta’s shop at 4 ish so that leaves me plenty of time to go and get that done, kushty! I wonder if I’ll see any more menu board carnage again… You see, last time I was there I was waiting in line for some meat balls and gravy when the whole fucking line of big heavy menu boards detached themselves from the ceiling and landed on all the customers, including a baby in a pram! It was immense. I instantly thought “Hello Lawsuit!!” Seriously all the people who got hit better be filing claims! I know I would, I’d take them for everything I could. Furnished home and a big fat cheque methinks I say I’d want a furnished home but, to be honest, after that performance I don’t think I trust Scandinavian furnishings…

Been thinking about the weekend too, yes I know it’s only Monday but leave me be, I like to look forward to things. I may have to drive to Rock City cos I’ve not got anyone to share a cab with. I asked if Russ, Marshall and Biggs wanted to cancel their hotel room and share a cab back to mine and it looked hopeful for a bit too but then Russ said it would cause too much hassle if they wanted to leave at different times and stuff so I’m back to square one. *scratches head* Well, I’ve got this week to try and sort something out.

What I am most excited about, however, is the prospect of watching 300 on Sunday during the usual Flashmosh day after meeting. I’ve been waiting for this film for months and am proper psyched about it!! It’s just what every quiet Sunday needs… Full on, historically inaccurate, balls-to-the-wall violence!! It’s basically about a war between 300 Spartans and 1,000,000 Persians and it looks mega. It’s based on the Frank Miller comic book of the same title so it is highly stylised. Frank Miller, of course is the creator of Sin City so I am expecting great things. I loved Sin City and love the stylised way he goes about making films.

Oh, I nearly forgot, the other night I watched a really good film called Buffalo 66. It’s yet another Dennis Waterman special with Vincent Gallo writing, driecting and starring in it along side Christina Ricci. It’s basically about a guy who’s been in jail for 5 years and has just got out. He has a problem in that his parents don’t know he’s been in jail. They have been led to believe he’s happily married and in a successful career, althoguh the details of the job are sketchy. In desperation he kidnaps a young woman and forces her to pose as his wife in a totally uncomfortable meeting with his parents. What unfolds is as funny as it is bizzare and will have you crying with laughter. Go and watch it!!