Minute44 - Dan Schonhaar

Ok…. so, last night Me and Nat went to see The Simpsons Movie in Mansfield… All well and good. So, I go to meet Nat at the BP garage and fill up while I’m there… I go inside to pay and the woman behind the counter fucks up somehow and basically she needed to use one of those retro card machines with a roller that prints the card onto paper… but that thing then proceeds to chew my card up and crack it right across the bloody chip!! At this point I was furious! And to make it worse the woman was so damn myopic she couldn’t see that I may in fact want to use my card for something other than petrol that evening. In the end It transpired that the cash machine accepted my and I was able to pay for the petrol. But I was still furious…. I hate violence towards women… I think men who raise their hands to women are fucking cowards who are only one rung higher on the ladder than a rapist. But I tell you what. I wasn’t half tempted to give that stupid bag a slap!!

Anyway, I go get changed and we set off. I get to mansfield to discover that they had removed Initial D from the arcade bit! This night just keeps getting better. So I text Nate Dogg an tell him and he replies that I should kill some fools! I’m inclined to agree.

However… the simpsons movie was pure aceness!! It could have been done in an episode… sure but this was all nicely polished and really well animated. Also… quite shockingly, you see bart’s wang! I was like as if you’ll ever see that in an episode!! Another funny thing is that they kill off Green Day and then Mrs. Lovejoy plays American Idiot (Funeral Version) on the organ in church! Obvously I’ll do a review of it later on…

So the film was good and the night was turning out alright… Until… Near Hilton I was aproaching a junction and looking left and right to see if I would be able to go when… SHIT THE BLOKE IN FRONT OF ME HAS STOPPED!!!! CRASH!!! and I bumped into the back of him! Fuck, shit, bugger, bollocks, cock, Barbara Striesand!!!!

So we both pull over to the side of the road to check out the damage… My bumper is cracked and theres a small dint in my bonet near the H emblem but the damage doesn’t look too bad. His car, however didn’t seem to have much of a mark on it at all… a bit of a scuff but that appeared to be it. So I say to him “I suppose you want my insurance details etc…?” and to my surprise he didn’t seem bothered and said “Well let’s just wait and see what the damage is. Give me your phone number and name.” So I though.. ooh, this might not be so bad. He either is planning on being nice if possible and not going through the insurance… orrrr… he’s not insured himself. Either way I’d be thankful. He said he’d get it looked at and call me today or tonight to let me know whats going on. So fingers crossed it’s all ok. For now it’s just not knowing that’s kinda doing my fruit in.

I just couldn’t believe I’d done it. I’m a super careful driver and people take the piss out of me all the time saying I drive like a grandad. It just goes to show. Be careful on the road guys, one momentary lapse in concentration and you end up in a right mess. I’m thinking with the minimal damage to his car combined with what a heap of junk it was… He’s not gonna bother taking it further. Of course I’d be happy to pay for a new bumper for him out of my own pocket if he needed it but like I say… I think the most it will need is some back to black. Fingers crossed.

Well, let me tell ya… I was friggin wide awake after that!! I don’t think I blinked on the way home. lol

Ta ta for now people.. I’ll let you know how I get on.