Minute44 - Dan Schonhaar

Ok…. so, last night Me and Nat went to see The Simpsons Movie in Mansfield… All well and good. So, I go to meet Nat at the BP garage and fill up while I’m there… I go inside to pay and the woman behind the counter fucks up somehow and basically she needed to use one of those retro card machines with a roller that prints the card onto paper… but that thing then proceeds to chew my card up and crack it right across the bloody chip!! At this point I was furious! And to make it worse the woman was so damn myopic she couldn’t see that I may in fact want to use my card for something other than petrol that evening. In the end It transpired that the cash machine accepted my and I was able to pay for the petrol. But I was still furious…. I hate violence towards women… I think men who raise their hands to women are fucking cowards who are only one rung higher on the ladder than a rapist. But I tell you what. I wasn’t half tempted to give that stupid bag a slap!!

Anyway, I go get changed and we set off. I get to mansfield to discover that they had removed Initial D from the arcade bit! This night just keeps getting better. So I text Nate Dogg an tell him and he replies that I should kill some fools! I’m inclined to agree.

However… the simpsons movie was pure aceness!! It could have been done in an episode… sure but this was all nicely polished and really well animated. Also… quite shockingly, you see bart’s wang! I was like as if you’ll ever see that in an episode!! Another funny thing is that they kill off Green Day and then Mrs. Lovejoy plays American Idiot (Funeral Version) on the organ in church! Obvously I’ll do a review of it later on…

So the film was good and the night was turning out alright… Until… Near Hilton I was aproaching a junction and looking left and right to see if I would be able to go when… SHIT THE BLOKE IN FRONT OF ME HAS STOPPED!!!! CRASH!!! and I bumped into the back of him! Fuck, shit, bugger, bollocks, cock, Barbara Striesand!!!!

So we both pull over to the side of the road to check out the damage… My bumper is cracked and theres a small dint in my bonet near the H emblem but the damage doesn’t look too bad. His car, however didn’t seem to have much of a mark on it at all… a bit of a scuff but that appeared to be it. So I say to him “I suppose you want my insurance details etc…?” and to my surprise he didn’t seem bothered and said “Well let’s just wait and see what the damage is. Give me your phone number and name.” So I though.. ooh, this might not be so bad. He either is planning on being nice if possible and not going through the insurance… orrrr… he’s not insured himself. Either way I’d be thankful. He said he’d get it looked at and call me today or tonight to let me know whats going on. So fingers crossed it’s all ok. For now it’s just not knowing that’s kinda doing my fruit in.

I just couldn’t believe I’d done it. I’m a super careful driver and people take the piss out of me all the time saying I drive like a grandad. It just goes to show. Be careful on the road guys, one momentary lapse in concentration and you end up in a right mess. I’m thinking with the minimal damage to his car combined with what a heap of junk it was… He’s not gonna bother taking it further. Of course I’d be happy to pay for a new bumper for him out of my own pocket if he needed it but like I say… I think the most it will need is some back to black. Fingers crossed.

Well, let me tell ya… I was friggin wide awake after that!! I don’t think I blinked on the way home. lol

Ta ta for now people.. I’ll let you know how I get on.

So orange Wednesday comes around… Holly and I decide to take advantage and go and see The Reaping starring Hillary Swank. I wasn’t expecting much from it to be honest, other than an entertaining no-brainer. That’s exactly what I got. Swank’s acting, as usual, wasn’t too bad but the other performances were pretty dire and the story seemed a little bit old hat to be honest.

The story goes; Katherine Winter (Swank) is an ex-minister who turned her back on God following the murder of her husband and daughter while carrying out humanitarian work in the Sudan. Having lost her faith, Winter takes up a new career as a debunker of “miracles” for a university. Her and her partner, the highly religeous Ben (Idris Elba) are sent out to the small town of Haven to investigate a river turned to blood following the apparent murder of a local boy at the hands of his sister. Shortly after beginning to examine the river the pair are amazed when hundreds of dead frogs begin to fall from the sky, the second of the 10 biblical plagues. It soon becomes apparent that the cause of these plagues (River of blood, Dead frogs, Flies, Dead Livestock, Lice, Boils, Locusts, darkness, Death of the first born and Fire from the skies) is somehow related to the girl accused of her brother’s murder.

The film is so hugely predictable that I not only saw the “twist” coming, I knew who the baddy was going to be from the very first time he’s on screen. I will however say, it’s quite entertaining as a no-brainer and if you want to just detatch from reality for an hour and a half, check it out. It’s not scary but there are one or two scenes that make you jump… these, however are also very predictable.

The real bitch was on the way to pick up Holly… I turned off the A38 at the Ashfields Pub, onto a 30 area. I was doing just shy of 40 when I noticed the police van in my rear-view!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! I turned onto Holly’s estate thinking that they were gonna pull me over for sure but no. They just carried on. So I’m thinking that they either had something better to do and I’ll get nothing or they’ve got me on video and I’ll be getting a letter in the next few days. That would be just fine and dandy :(. I tell ya I’m unlucky enough to get a fine and points. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a safe driver bordering on grandad driving. I, least of all, deserve a speeding fine!

Tonight, I think I’m gonna watch Dog Day Afternoon. I don’t know why but I’ve had an overwhelming urge to watch it all day. It’s a kick ass film starring a really young Al Pacino as an awkward bank robber. His robbery id foiled by a series of unfortunate events and before long, the inevitable hostage situation is the hottest thing on TV. Based on a true story. Spot on!

Saturday, tomorrow, I’ll be up quite early cos I’ve gotta go and MoT my car at 9:30 at Birchwood gay-rage… After that, assuming it goes well I’ll go get breakfast and then prepare to go to Brummieland. Kirsty and Lolly are having a party at their appartment in the evening with a possible (more than likely) outing to Subs. Not been to brum in ages so should be good fun I’ll go about mid day to Brum and meet Lolly and maybe Bubble and go round town.

Buh-bye for now…

It’s Friday, yes it’s Friday… Westooooooooood *BOOOOOOOM* *Machine gun sounds* ahem! Yes, quite enough of that I think. I am pretty happy it’s Friday though. Means that after today I get 2 whole days off so I can cool the fuck out! Tonight it’s Mojo-jo-jo’s birthday party at her [parents] house which rules because it’s like literally meters from my house. So close in fact, it’s almost viable for me to keep the beers in my own fridge to stop any freeloading son of a bitches stealing my shit…hmmm nice idea. Well, first I actually have to buy my beers. I’ll pick some up just before I go round and get them in the freezer for 20 minutes.

Went to my mama’s for tea last night after work and she made my favourite! It doesn’t really have a name it’s a dish of her own invention she simply calls casserole. Vague? Yes, but mate! It tastes so good. It contains mushrooms broccoli and smoked sausage (jokes on a postcard) and it’s stormin! Served with a pile of mashed potatoes so big that you need a stronger table.

When I got in I watched Bulworth. It’s a comedy written and directed by Warren Beatty about a California senator, Jay Billington Bulworth - played by Beatty, who is running in an election in 1996. After getting himself into a royal mess with a questionable insurance bill that sees insurance companies across the state at his throat he makes a deal with one of said insurance brokers for a $10,000,000 life insurance policy and then arranges to have himself killed by a hitman. This all goes tits up however when he finally snaps and sees the errors of his ways. He begins campaigning for the under-privileged black community and at the same time starts living like them and talking entirely in rap. Of course this is hilarious but he strikes a chord with many people and ends up rocketing in the opinion polls.

The film is pretty star studded really. As well as Beatty, the film stars Hale Berry, Oliver Platt, Don Chedale, Sean Astin and Paul Sorvino. Although Warren Beatty did a bit of a Dennis Waterman (Wrote, produced, directed, wrote the theme tune, sung the theme tune) The film didn’t seem one-sided. It was really sharp and has lost none of it’s relevance in the decade since it was released. Really enjoyed it.

I’ve been giving some more thought to the next car I want to get. Having watched several videos and looked at spec sheets and things. The EK9 Civic Type R looks bloody tempting. It’s got 12 bhp less than the EP3 Type R (the kind Nate has) but it is a whopping 200 KG lighter!! That’s a lot, and that means 0-60 is dealt with in 5.7 seconds and the quarter mile is done in 15 seconds dead; quicker than the EP3. Oh and it’s only a 1.6 as well which I think is a testament to Japanese engineering.

Now, looks wise, it’s not too different from my current car, a different looking spoiler and a more agressive looking front bumper, not to mention the obligatory red honda badges.
The problem, of course is that they’re all imports so not only will finding a good example be a little tricky, the cars themselves are expensive and the insurance will be a pretty penny as well. But I think it’ll all be worth it to have a car that is rare and fast and will have chavs in saxos going “I’ll fuckin smoke him! As if that’s a Type R!!”

Tomorrow I’ll be chillin with Laura and Brahn.. well, just Laura in the morning cos Brahn’s gotta do some jobs or summat. We’ll probably just go to McArthur Glen for a coffee and maybe some lunch. Should be good, I’ve not seen them for aaaaaaaages… not good.

Well. where to begin? I was told today that in my next wage packet I’ll recieve a £250 bonus! It’s a good job I was sitting down I tell thee! So instantly began mulling over what I should spend the money on… I could use it to pay bills but thats just boring. An Xbox…A Nintendo Wii…. a PSP… hmmm, a digital camera? All good I thought but I can’t really justify buying any of those items. I’m not in the house enough to have a games console and I’m not killing time enough to have a PSP. I can borrow a Digital camera whenever I want one so I can’t justify that either.

So back to square one. Then it hit me. DOWNLOAD TICKET!! Best of both worlds you see. I get my download ticket without spending any of my wages and I can put a hundred quid towards bills and stuff and live comfortably. Now all I have to worry about is the medical costs incurred by the damage I do to my liver and lungs while at download. This is, however, an afterthought and I don’t care much for afterthoughts.

So I’m borrowing a tent, I have a sleeping bag I’ll buy up as much booze as I can and gather a reasonable size cache between now and then as well. I’m gonna borrow a 2 Second tent!! I’ll wait til everyone else is struggling with their tents and pols and ropes and shit and then just deploy mine, crack open a beer and laugh.

Last night I went with Nate and Trig to Sheffield so Trig could check out a 200SX. Nate’s got this new bit of kit that warns you if there are speed cameras or possible mobile camera sites in the area. It’s pretty decent but does have some annoying things. Like it detects cameras on roads you aren’t even driving on if they’re near enough and it also warns you about cameras that aren’t even on your side. Could be a life saver though, or at least a license saver. But yeah we go to this guy’s house on what appeared to be the most friggin ghetto crime zone of an estate ever and the 200 was parked on the road. It was in incredible condition, with the exception of the leather upholstery which looked like it had been… erm… well used. It also seemed to run pretty well, especially seeing as it had done 120,000 miles. The engine bay was spotless. The only concern I had was a slight tapping coming from the back of the head as it reved and as it was cold. Seeing as Trig is pretty much going to have the engine rebuilt or put a new block in there all together this didn’t matter too much. He gave the dodgy lumberjack lookin guy £100 of his finest English pounds and walked off with a receipt. It’s being MoT’d today and if it passes Trig will go and pick it up tonight… and will be dead by Monday, the way he drives.

While on the subject of Sheffield, my post yesterday is still hugely relevant it seems. SheffieldForum now has a WHOPPING 40 page thread all about this and the thread I started on FlashMosh is now on it’s 3rd page. It appears to be split right down the middle as well with some people saying that it was totally unjustified and the cop should be punished and the other half, my half, are saying that he was right, if a little heavy handed. But yeah, enough of that.

Tomorrow, I will be going to Notts for Kym’s birthday although I will be driving as not to incur many costs… I’m driving Nate down and possibly back as well if he doesn’t share a cab with the rest of them.

Ta Ta Peasants!

Weekend… well, not a lot happened really as I was trying to save a bit of cash for Subs this coming weekend. Still here’s pretty much what I got up to… Friday night, as you knew, I went to my Mum’s for tea where, as we were leaving Sta got a call from Amy, asking if we wanted to go to speasy for a few drinks and games of pool seeing as they had gotten their liquor license back that day. Sta said she’d drive so Thought… why the devil not? Picked Amy up on the way and went to notts.

Sta had work the next day so we left about 11 and got some chips.

I woke up around 10 and text Nate cos he wanted to have a look around WordPress and stuff but I didn’t show him that for long cos we just went round to Brahn’s to check out the house. When we got there though, I had a blast round in Nate’s car (Civic Type R) I tell ya now, something that quick should not be so easy to drive… It just invites n00bs like me to attain crazy speeds… It was just nuts, and I only took it round some residential streets going 40 tops… I can only imagine what it would be like when you really go for it. It just feels like a fool proof engine. You’d think that doing less than 20 in 3rd it wouldn’t pull so great… WRONG! it was like you could make a totally inappropriate gear selection and it wouldn’t really matter, there would still be enough power to get you out of the mess. But, again, I digress.

After my wee bit of a test drive, Nate, Brahn, Laura and I went into Derby for a bite to eat at Subway. On the way past eagle centre there was a woman collecting change for an animal charity or something and as she shook her change pot she shouted what sounded like “Against karate to animals!!” obviously karate should have been cruelty but this woman obviously had a hard time saying that… Nate instantly turned to me and was like, “did she just say karate!?”

Subway seemed to be scenester central for some unknown reason… well, I suppose chavs have McDonalds so all the scene/emo/grebs have to hang somewhere. Personally I prefer a pub but I suppose if those kids came in my pub I wouldn’t be best pleased so I’ll concede subway. Went round a couple more shops and stuff before heading home.

Me and Nate went to see Haywood for a bit when we got back to Normo with his decrepid old dog with, I shit you not, the worst breath ever!! It smelled like it had just chowed down on Gandhi’s flip-flops!! I nearly Yaked! To be perfectly honest if my dog was in that state I’d have her put down. She could hardly walk with the arthritis in her legs. But, it’s up to the owners at the end of the day and although she’s obviously in pain, she does seem fairly happy. We watched a couple of episodes of Myth Busters which is always good telly :).

In the evening me and Sta decided to go for a meal and selected Zizzi as our point of dining so we jumped in the car and headed off to Derby (de ja vu) only to get there and be turned away from the restaurant because it was too friggin busy!! Well I suppose it was a Saturday. So I ring up Denby Lodge in anticipation of a rather large steak… but no, they’re fully booked too. By this point I’m a bit stressed to say the least so We powered it back to Alfreton and had some dinner at spoons before going home and watching a couple of X-Files.

I proper over slept on Sunday! Woke up about quarter to 12! Sta drove us to Meadowhall where we went around some shops and had some Chicken at Nando’s! I bought a book, the new one by Stephen King called Cell, I’ll write about it when I’m done. Got home and watched yet more X-Files and went to bed where we watched The Gift. I had forgotten how star studded that movie actually is… Cate Blanchett, Giovani Ribisi, Keanu Reeves, Greg Kinnear, Hillary Swank, Katie Holmes… not to mention written by Billy Bob Thornton and Directed by Sam Raimi! Really good film with some good plot twists and scares.

I still haven’t seen Hot Fuzz but I’m planning on going on Wednesday with Brahn and Laura.

It truely has been the weekend of Skylines!! On friday night in notts I saw a black R34 GTR. Then in Derby on Saturday I saw a Purple R34 on Sadler Gate and we followed a silver R34 back down to Brahn’s. Then, on the way to Meadowhall on sunday I saw a White R33 GTR near Pinxton and then on the M1 I saw another white R33 and a white R32.

As well as all those MINT skylines also saw one of the new Audi TT roadsters for the first time… I have to say they are well nice! I didn’t think much to the pictures of them I saw but win the flesh they are amazing!

Been talkin to Kirsty about JapShow and she’s definately in. She’s gonna bring her BF, Mike also to show him what good cars look like. At present He drives a Ford ASBO, or so he told me when we were at subs the other week. This is poor. 220BHP out of a 2.5 litre in-line 5 TURBOCHARGED engine just seems weak! Especially when the DC5 Integra Type R gets nearly that out of a 2.0 Naturally aspirated 4pot, and it looks a shit load nicer and it’s cheaper! What both cars are lacking though is a 4WD system or at the very least RWD so you can have a bit of drift action and proper power delivery.

So yeah, I’m definately going to the JapShow for some of my bi-annual clutch and tyre smoke intake and ear drum deaddening via the Jet car. I think I’ gonna buy another XzYlo to play with while camping as well, the last one I had, that Gaz broke, was loads of fun and good exercise

I’ve also been reading about the ‘07 Civic Type-R which seems to be friggin amazing! Looks sexy and will undoubtedly be quick as fook to boot. It only scores the same performance as the previous model but it looks a lot nicer inside and features nice little bells and whistles like a stop/start button and nice little LED indicators that let you know whan you’re in VTEC. Aluminium pedals and a space aged dash make this car look like something truely special too.

The big question, however, is do I go to Download or not? I’d love to go for the atmosphere etc but it’s soooo expensive. Like £165 just for the ticket. Then you gotta think about travel costs and beer and food all weekend. It’ll be a small fortune. and considdering that I don’t want to see the majority of the bands that are playing it seems a bit steep. I’d sooner arrange a big Camping trip to some random field with all my homieZ!! That’d be loads of fun and well cheap

I’ve proposed this idea to Kirsty and she said she’d be up for it, but when is she not up for doing something?! Bless her!

On a very good note; X-Files season 8 has arrived!! WOOOOO!!! I won’t be watching any tonight though because I shall be going to see Hot Fuzz in Mansfield at 8:30. It looks soooo good, and with how funny Shaun of the Dead was I’m expecting to laugh my arse off!!

Last night, Me and Sta went to Chiquito’s for dinner. Was uber tasty although I was appaled that they stopped selling my favourite beer ever, Desperados!!! Proper gutted!

I’ve been trying to think up a proper header for this site so it’s not just crappy text and a gradient… In the end I’ve decided that I want a sketch drawn look to it with little sketches of skateboards and cassette tapes and things around it. Kind of like how kenedik has it’s header but obviousy green and not pink. I’ve asked Lucy to draw one up for me and she said she’d be happy to which is ace! (thanks me dear!!) As you are probably unaware, Lucy came second in the recent E4 Skins Logo design competition so she is one sweet artist!!

Well, where do I begin. Most of saturday was spent tidying the house. Seeing as I was going to be out for a few days I thought it would be nice to come back to a clean house (thanks Mrs. Kay).

About 2pm on saturday I set off for Nottingham train station to meet Liam and head down to Birmingham for an evening of heavy drinking fun and games with the FlashMosh guys. Arrived in Brum and Liam had to lead the way because I’d never been to Kirsty and Chris’s appartment before. Got there, cracked open a beer and waited for the others to arrive while I enjoyed a nice cold Corona. The appartment was ace!! Really modern and in the center of Brum, just behind the mailbox, right on the canal.

All the rest of the guys arrived and we set off to the club around 10. On the way, totally randomly we ran into Nat who had told me that she probably wasn’t coming… Oh well, off to subs! I’d never been to the academy before so didn’t know what to expect. Liam and Bubble both said they liked the place and so did Nat (although the amount of stick-thin emo boys in there probably had something to do with that) but Kirsty and other Birmingham peeps said it was shit…

Well, the club was freakin sweet as Peter Griffin would have said… I didn’t spend much and still got totally twatted!! Was ace to see all the Birmingham lot as well as meet a couple of them who I’d not met before like Paulio and Shelly Stayed til the end at about 3 and danced for the last couple of hours. There was a crazy mosh pit for Fall Out Boy of all things! :S

I woke up on Chris’s sofa, not yet in the grip of a hangover due to the fact that I was still drunk. Thank god I didn’t drive. Spent most of the day with Nat just watching scuzz and comparing the singer from Army of Freshmen to Bongo. Twas good fun.

The original plan was to stay until monday and take in the sixdaysober gig at the barfly sunday night. This proved too much for me to take. I felt way rough and decided to head home about 5pm on Sunday with Liam.

Check out the shitty phone camera photos

Got home around 8 and had a chinese, watched some movies and went to bed.
Had monday off work which was nice… I went and got my car fixed. It needed a new middle section on the exhaust as it was sounding like a dead chav-mobile which was not good for my rep at all. I also went to Sta’s shop to get my hair blacked (cover up me greys).